


The Song of Spring

by Seigetsu_Ren



Series: Unrelated YukiSayo Shorts [20]
Category: BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Cat Demon Yukina, Eventual Happy Ending, F/F, Gen, Hina is also a spirit, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Light romance for yukisayo, Self-Hatred, Winter Spirit Sayo, platonic sibling love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-06-09
Packaged: 2019-12-29 17:44:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18299072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seigetsu_Ren/pseuds/Seigetsu_Ren
Summary: "Run when you hear the songs of a koto on a blizzard night. The winter spirit is after your life."Sayo was a heroic spirit that guarded over the village of Hikawa. She was respected but feared, for she held the power to freeze the river and bring about violent storms. None dared to venture to her shrine until one day when she found an injured cat at her doorstep...





	1. Chapter 1

_Run when you hear the songs of a koto on a blizzard night. The winter spirit is after your life._

Such was the legend that circulated in the village of Hikawa. In fact, the village was named after a river that ran from the mountain backing it to the lake downstream – it was said that the winter spirit could freeze the river into blue ice in an instant. The villagers held nothing but fear for this deity. While the twin summer spirit was revered in a brightly-lit shrine in town, the winter spirit’s shrine was large and carefully-crafted, littered with expensive jade magatama, but it lay high up the mountain where none dared to venture alone. The shrine held not a shred of love, but that of forced respect – the villagers prayed for the winter spirit to stay there, to leave the village untouched.

There should be nobody up there on this fateful winter night.

But a young woman defied the warnings and treaded up the mountain anyway, following the waters of the Hikawa River hurtling down by her side. The moon was high, lighting the frosted rocks a silver that matched the woman’s hair. Her path was narrow and uneven, running between the river and a thick tangle of frozen vegetation to her other side. She inched forward, her steps dinting the frost through her straw sandals. Just a little further. Just a little further and she would reach the river’s source where the shrine was located. She panted under her breath, shifting her weight to the foot she had secured on a relatively flat rock so she could bring her other foot forward. Right that moment…

Her heat melted through the frost and the sandal found wet moss underneath. The rock no longer held her weight. She slipped, her hands flailed, trying to grasp something, anything, but there was just air. Her wide eyes saw the sky a split second later – just the sky and the silver moon as its centerpiece. She fell headfirst into the river.

……………

“Are you okay?”

Atop the frozen river walked a woman with long turquoise tresses, her robes of white silk fluttered in the wind. Her skin was pale, almost as pale as the snow, but she did not seem cold, her steps were strong and calm with not a single shiver on her. She knelt onto the ice that still bore ripples of the once flowing river. There, on its surface, was an injured animal.

“A cat?”

The cat’s coat was long and silver in colour with hints of wisteria violet. The woman tried to run her fingers through it, but the cat stirred, and noticing her, hissed. Its eyes were a fierce gold. They bore into the woman’s green counterparts, losing not the slightest in their coldness.

The woman withdrew her hand.

“My name is Sayo. I am here to help you.”

The cat stopped hissing, but it kept glaring at her. It tried to stand, couldn’t – one of its paws looked injured, red and swollen.

“Here. At least let me keep you warm,” Sayo said, taking off her haori to drape it over the cat instead. For all its previous aggression, the cat accepted the offering easily, pulling the haori around itself with its uninjured limbs and cuddling into the fabric, refusing to show more than a pair of eyes and ears above the folds. Its gaze looked a little softer now, searching Sayo for…something. Food, maybe? Sayo smiled apologetically at it.

“I am sorry, I do not have food with me right now. Let me return to my home for some. Will you be okay out here alone? I would offer to take you back with me, but you do not seem to like the idea…”

Sayo made another attempt to touch the cat. It craned its head forward, trying to bite. Sayo sighed. “Thought so. Then I shall return in a bit.”

Sayo returned with some chicken. She had never kept a cat before and could only surmise from her experience with wolves that cats, too, ate meat. She put a piece of raw chicken on the ice, but the cat did not take it, squirming away in distaste. She put down a chicken skewer instead – she had cooked it over the fire and seasoned it with some salt. To her surprise, the cat found more interest in that. It bit off morsels from the skewer and consumed the meat with such elegance that Sayo found herself in shame. Sayo vowed to improve her own manners.

After the cat finished its meal, it scratched a claw on the frozen river and tried to lick the slivers, presumably for water? It got its tongue accidentally stuck on the ice though, and its fur stood up in panic.

“Don’t move! You’ll hurt yourself,” Sayo called. “Here, I will defrost that for you.”

Sayo ran a fingertip on the ice and light spread from her onto the frozen surface, which melted immediately. It formed a small puddle of water for the cat to drink from, but the cat instead turned towards Sayo in what looked like bewilderment.

“Drink up,” Sayo said with a smile. She was not ready for an explanation, and what good would it do to explain to a cat? The cat did not seem pleased with Sayo’s decision, its golden eyes still trained on Sayo. Sayo reached a hand over to rub the cat’s head – this time it didn’t resist. “If you’re good, I will tell you more some day, okay?”

The cat reluctantly closed its eyes and nudged its head into Sayo’s palm. It was so cute – Sayo felt her heart melting into a puddle, just like the ice she defrosted. No, she had to control herself. She was a fearsome _spirit_ , not some innocent peasant girl. She withdrew her hand and the cat stared at her again, this time with longing and not irritation. “Drink first.” Sayo gestured to the water. “If you like the way I rub your head, I can do it as much as you want if you would come home with me.”

The cat licked up some water, then dipped its head in the puddle, rolling its face in it. Sayo thought cats were afraid of water? This cat didn’t seem averse to it. Was it trying to wash itself? But didn’t cats clean by licking? Maybe Sayo was just generalizing. The cat lifted its face from the water and shook to try and get the water off. It rubbed its paws on its face, but it was still wet, making the cat frown and stare at Sayo…for help? Sayo brought the haori over the cat’s face and rubbed it dry. The cat purred contently, then once it was satisfied, it squirmed out of Sayo’s grasp and retreated into the haori bundle where it was dry. “I will lift you up and take you home now, okay?” Sayo said. The cat didn’t answer her. She took it as agreement – an unfair assumption, she knew, because what were the chances the cat understood her?

Sayo picked up the haori bundle, the cat remained within it, shifting only to settle itself in Sayo’s arms, its head burying into the inner side of Sayo’s elbow. Sayo cradled the cat close to her, relishing in a body warmth she hadn’t felt in a long, long time. It was such a precious feeling. The furrow of her eyebrows relaxed to this warmth, and she found herself dipping down her head to nuzzle the cat through the haori fabric. The cat sneezed.

“Ah, we should get you back to my house quickly, else you would catch a cold. Do cats catch colds?” Sayo wondered to herself. No matter, she hurried her steps.

……………

Sayo soon learned she picked up a rather unusual cat. Owing to its injury, or perhaps its personality, it didn’t move around a lot, spending most of its time curled up on the veranda of Sayo’s shrine, wrapped in the little blanket Sayo had made for it the first day it started living here. Actually, even if it weren’t lazing around, the cat would still tow the blanket along wherever it went, draping it over its back and hissing whenever Sayo tried to pry it away. The only time it would let go of the blanket was probably when it took baths, not that Sayo would know for certain because it would try to bite if Sayo followed.

“You are such a shy kitten,” Sayo said while rubbing the cat’s head. It twisted and turned to avoid Sayo’s hand and then glared at her indignantly as though it understood what Sayo had said. “I am sorry. Did I make you mad?” Sayo let a giggle slip. She would _never_ giggle in front of others, but if it was a cat, it was probably okay. Probably.

It was then that a disturbance echoed through the air – a magical melody that mortals might only hear faintly but was clear and bright to Sayo’s ears. The cat perked its head up too, pawing at Sayo’s arm.

“Hina’s koto…” Sayo muttered, narrowing her eyes in what looked to be annoyance at first glance but really harboured feelings of hurt. “It’s that time of the year again.”

“Nya! Nya nya nya nya…” the cat kept pawing at Sayo, and when Sayo ignored it, it limped off towards the back of the shrine.

“Wait, don’t walk so quickly. Your leg hasn’t fully recovered yet!”

Sayo had no choice but to follow after the cat till it stopped at the door of the storage room. The cat tried to climb up to slide the door open by the handle but winced and fell back down onto the ground when it put weight on its injured limb. Sayo bent down to pick it up into her arms. “There is nothing behind that door. Let’s go back, alright?”

The cat answered with incessant calls, digging its claw into the fabric of Sayo’s collar to pull angrily at it. When Sayo stood up again, it reached its other front paw at the door, waving frantically at it. Sayo heaved a sigh. “Alright, I will let you in. There really isn’t anything back there though.”

Sayo opened the door of the storage room. It was dark and musty inside, treasures that the villagers had offered piled in dusty crates. Sayo saw no use for them. She was an immortal after all and had no need for worldly things for sustenance. She did eat on occasion – a sort of reminiscence to the days when she was still human – but she would rather hunt her own food than to buy it from the village she had avoided for years.

The cat was not interested in all that though. It tried to leap for the table where a long object sat covered in cloth. “Don’t jump. You’ll hurt yourself again,” Sayo said, holding the cat back. It kept struggling from Sayo’s grasp until she set it down gently onto the table.

The cat bit on the cloth and dragged it off from the object, revealing it as a koto. At first, Sayo was bewildered by the cat’s purposeful actions, but after it started plucking a melody from the strings – a very familiar melody – she lost it.

“What…Who are you?” She picked up the cat and glared at it. “What is your purpose?”

“Nya nya nya nya nya!!” The cat’s calls became more animated along its swiping of paws as though gesturing for Sayo to play the koto. Sayo set the cat onto the ground.

“No. I will not play.”

“Nya nya nya!”

“No!”

Images from the time when she was human flooded Sayo. Years of war and carnage. News of yet another raid coming. Villagers begged for her powers as an onmyouji and she acquiesced, knowing the feat of bringing winter to stall the incoming invasion was one so great it would take her own life. She projected all her powers through the koto, played until her fingers were bloody. It had sucked away her life till taking her last living breath – with it, the snow finally grew to a blizzard and the river froze to stop the boats from sailing. And what of it? The village was saved from invasion but Sayo was left a cursed spirit. The very people she saved feared her power and enshrined her remains far away to be forgotten. Instead, they revered Hina, her younger twin, the better twin who thawed Sayo’s winter and brought summer back.

Sayo gritted her teeth. Everything tasted bitter, even the air she inhaled. She gripped the koto in her hands and smashed it onto the wall behind her. It split to two with a thunderous ring.

“Give up! I will _never_ play again!” she screamed and strode out of the room, slamming the door behind her. Once she was alone, she slipped to the floor and stared out into the empty shrine grounds. Her chest hurt. She had known no pain since becoming a spirit, but it hurt nonetheless. Tears welled in her eyes and she hid them behind her palms.

At some point, Sayo had dragged herself back to her room and fell asleep on the tatami. She might be the very embodiment of winter, but she still felt the cold that seeped into her bones with nightfall. It was eased somewhat when a piece of fabric was pulled over her body. She shifted and was met with alarmed yowling that caused her to wake. She had nearly rolled over onto her cat – presumably the one responsible for covering her up with a blanket.

“Oh, it’s you.”

“Nya.”

Sayo reached a hand for the cat and it nudged its head forward to touch her. The warmth made Sayo smile.

“I am sorry for being so angry this afternoon.”

“Nya nya…” the cat answered, reaching at paw for Sayo’s face. Only then did Sayo realize that she had been crying again – the cat had wiped away her tears.

“You really are no ordinary cat, are you? You heard the sound of Hina’s koto. You knew I kept my koto in the storage room and knew how to play my song as well. You must be a magic creature too. Did you come to hear me play? Is my magic a necessity to you?”

For once, the cat did not make a sound in response. Instead, it crawled closer to Sayo and buried its small head in her chest. When Sayo remained still, the cat pawed gently at Sayo’s arm.

“You want me to hug you?”

“Nyaa…”

It was the first time the cat had let Sayo hug it like this. It was an independent and cautious creature. The most it would allow was for Sayo to scratch its chin, and maybe carry it around since it did not move very well owing to its injury. But never would it sleep in Sayo’s embrace. Sayo loved the feeling. Its body heat was comforting, and its coat so smooth and soft between her fingers. She nuzzled into the cat’s fur. It lifted its head and licked her on the cheek.

“Thank you. I really needed this.”

_**(To Be Continued)** _


	2. Chapter 2

Preparations for the Hikawa Festival was under way. Sayo could tell from the beats of drums down the valley where the village lay. In principle, it was a festival celebrating her birth too, but she knew its true purpose was to honour Hina, and knowing this, she could not stand to take part in the festivities.

“But do you want to go?” Sayo asked her cat that she picked up to cradle in her arms. The cat tilted its head and looked at her in confusion.

“Nya?”

“Hina’s koto is more powerful than mine. My sound can never compare, both in the strength of magic energy and in the simple beauty of notes in a musical sense. If you need someone to play for you, perhaps I can bring you to her?”

“Nya nya!!” The cat shook its head. Sayo smiled apologetically.

“I am sorry. This is the best I can do. So please accept this offer?”

The cat was silent and looked away dejectedly while it wrapped itself in its little blanket again so only its ears were poking out from the top of the bundle. Sayo shifted its weight in her arms and made her way down to the village.

To a mortal, the walk would take hours, but Sayo sprang effortlessly down the rocks that lined the river and made it in a small fraction of the time. It had been very long since she had gone to the village. Much of it was unrecognizable – larger, taller buildings, a busier marketplace selling exotic goods Sayo had never seen before when she had been alive. It was perhaps thrice as big - both by area and by population - as the village she had known. Sayo wasn’t really used to the noise and splendour, but her eyes softened at the scene before her. Maybe nobody would remember, but this village had been saved by _her_ efforts. Seeing its prosperous present gave Sayo confirmation that her past sacrifice hadn’t been in vain.

The main road through the village still remained and Sayo followed it to where she knew Hina was enshrined. Like the other public spaces, Hina’s shrine was crowded, especially so now that they were close to the date of the Hikawa Festival. Colourful banners lined the path to the main shrine building. Worshippers and shrine keepers alike were busy setting up for the festival. Sayo walked past them; the barrier she had cast prevented them from spotting her. Sayo took her cat all the way through the main shrine building to its back where she could feel the presence of Hina’s ward. She walked up to it and reached forward with a hand; blue light rippled from thin air, signalling the entrance of the ward.

“Do not be afraid; this is not dangerous. We will be crossing into Hina’s dimension now. She should be on the other side,” Sayo explained to her cat. She then stepped through the blue light into the other world.

Hina’s ward looked like a continuity of the place they were in previously. They had stepped through the back door of the main shrine into a garden, but this garden – unlike its mortal world counterpart – was completely void of people. It was bright and warm, but quiet and calm just as one would imagine the house of a spirit to be like. A pebble path cut through rows of colourful flowers, rounding a koi pond to its water source - a small cascade fed by a magic spring up a short flight of stairs. Perched above the spring was a building of teal roofs, its eaves lined with gold; the pillars were a vermillion red.

“Oneechan, is that you!?” A voice could be heard from the top of the steps. In no time, a young woman bopped down the stairs and pretty much tried to run into Sayo, but Sayo dodged so the embrace met nothingness. “Tch…stingy…”

Hina was Sayo’s identical twin. Their facial features were almost indistinguishable from each other except Hina’s eyes were slightly more rounded. Hina also stood a bit shorter than Sayo – attributed to Hina’s poor sleeping habits when she had been alive. Otherwise, they looked completely the same. But Hina’s image was Sayo’s opposite. She wore her hair at her shoulders with two small braids tied by yellow ribbons – it made her look more playful. Her attire was similarly in bright hues in contrast to Sayo’s pure white. The yukata she wore today was an azure blue decorated by golden chrysanthemum patterns.

“What makes you stop by today, Oneechan? We haven’t seen each other for more than a hundred years.”

Sayo looked a little rueful at the remark. The last time they had seen each other was Hina running up to her shrine and Sayo had viciously lashed out at her before chasing her down the mountain. She was somewhat sorry for what she had done but was too prideful to apologize. All she could do was to conjure an impassive demeanour.

“I have a favour to ask,” Sayo said without addressing Hina’s previous remark.

“Oh.” Hina sounded a bit disappointed, but she soon hid it behind a bright smile. “Then let’s talk upstairs! My worshippers gave me some tasty roasted potatoes. Super duper rururun!”

Sayo nodded. “I would appreciate that.”

And so Hina brought them to her house where they settled by the hearth with roasted potatoes in hand. When Sayo peeled hers and started munching on it, her cat pleaded for some. “Is it even safe for you to have potatoes?”

“Nya nya nya.”

“It’s not even really a cat,” Hina answered, breaking off a piece of her potato to give to Sayo’s cat, but it scurried away and hissed at Hina instead. “Meanie. And I was trying to be nice too.” Hina pouted.

“When you say it’s not really a cat…” Sayo muttered questioningly.

“Oneechan hasn’t noticed? It’s a magical creature. Like you and me. Well, the exact nature might not be the same…how to explain so even Oneechan can understand…it’s just taking the _form_ of a cat. It isn’t _really_ a cat.”

Sayo had had the suspicion based on its behaviour, but no direct proof of it. Hina was more talented and powerful in the magic arts though. She might’ve detected a faint energy from the cat that Sayo failed to capture.

“So what is the favour you want from me? Does it have to do with this creature?” Hina asked while reaching a hand for the cat. It snapped its teeth, narrowly missing Hina’s finger.

“It has been begging me to play my koto, presumably for the magic energy that would be emitted.”

“Ah. Simple reason. It needs magic energy to revert back to its original form. See how it’s injured? Probably used up its magic reservoir to sustain itself when it was injured, thus adapted the cat form as means of conservation.”

“Then can you play for it? Help it recover its original form?”

“Eh?” Hina sounded surprised, pointing at herself. “Me?”

“Yes. That is the favour I am asking for.”

“Nya! Nya nya nya!!” The cat was screaming and shaking its head. It hit its paws on Sayo’s arm, and when Sayo ignored it, it hissed till its hairs were standing up. Hina watched it with quirked eyebrows.

“Doesn’t seem like that creature wants my help though.”

Sayo stroked a hand down the cat’s coat and spoke in an apologetic tone. “I said already, I can’t play for you. Please accept this offer.”

The cat kept shaking its head. Tired from the outburst, it lay on Sayo’s knee and yowled pitifully.

“Oneechan…” Hina interrupted. “Did you break your koto yesterday? I felt its destructive shockwave even from here.”

“That is none of your concern, Hina,” Sayo snapped.

“I know, but…” Hina paused, her expression losing its usual cheerfulness. “But why wouldn’t Oneechan play anymore? I liked Oneechan’s sound.”

“That is a lie.” Sayo insisted.

“I followed Oneechan because Oneechan was everything I wanted to be.”

“And I hated it. You knew that, and yet you kept doing everything I would do.”

“I…I didn’t know…”

“And then you would do it better than me. Everybody would praise you for a good job. Yet when the time came to find a sacrifice to save the village? They came for me!”

Sayo knew what she had just shouted wasn’t fair at all. She had taken the post of her own accord, knowing full well the consequences. She hated thinking about it, especially now that all was said and done and she could never go back to undo anything. But no matter how she denied, she alone knew the reason for her past decision. She had wanted recognition. No, she had just wanted to _be_ something other than an utter failure. And more than anything, she had just wanted her miserable life to end.

If she had hung herself instead, she would be a failure even in death. How better else to die than as a hero? Burn like a fire till she herself was consumed to chars. A false valiance to hide her weakness in life, though it was for naught in the end, as the person who truly mattered – herself – could not be fooled.

“I didn’t want Oneechan to die. Nobody wanted Oneechan to die.”

Hina’s voice was weak. Sayo told herself to shut up, but another part of her felt a sort of sadistic joy at seeing Hina like this. The years of pain she had endured – finally Hina could experience a fragment of it. Whether Hina deserved it or not, Sayo’s jealousy led her to seek such vengeance.

“And yet everyone abandoned me all the same. Even after they had cremated my body they enshrined my remains far from home for fear of my power. That’s right. In life, they all saw me as inferior to you. They never bothered looking at me for I was insignificant. And when I had given up everything to conjure a divine act for their sake?” At this, Sayo gave a bitter laugh. “Nothing. Not a hint of appreciation. I guess I can’t blame them either. My sound was either dull or destructive – those two options were all I was capable of-”

“That is not true!!” Hina raised her voice to cut off Sayo’s ramblings. Tears streamed from her eyes and she struggled to wipe them away. “That is not true at all…I never thought that was all to Oneechan. I don’t care what others think, but to me, Oneechan’s sound was most beautiful.”

Sayo was speechless. She knew Hina wasn’t the kind of person to comfort someone with kind words. If there was one thing Hina was poorly skilled at, it would be this. But she couldn’t understand what Hina saw in her playing.

“When Oneechan first learned how to play the koto, the sound you made was really rururun. Remember the time you used the music to amplify your magic so the lilies bloomed?”

She had not known that Hina had happened upon her back then. She had hidden from Hina out of shame for her lack of talent, instead secretly practising the koto by the river. The koto had been something Hina had not yet touched upon at that point. It was the only thing Sayo had that Hina hadn’t. It had not been easy for Sayo to develop some skill on the instrument, but as her sound improved, as it became a vehicle to make herself stronger, she had grown attached to the music she produced. She finally found something that belonged to her, something that she could wield to create beautiful things such as making the lilies bloom. Her heart bloomed with it. She had found a sliver of love for herself.

And yet soon after, Hina had taken even that sliver away from her. What else did she have left to live for?

“You shouldn’t have been there. You shouldn’t have listened to my song. I told you to stay away, but you never listened. You stole everything from me. I hate you.” Sayo clutched at her left chest. Her heart - which had long ceased beating - still clenched in agony. “It’s because of you that my sound became so hollow. It’s the comparison. No matter how much I practised, I was overtaken and made completely worthless in comparison to you. I played to my last breath. My final song was nothing but pain. All because of you. You killed me.”

“I’m sorry…” Hina lowered her head as though knowing how useless her apology was. “If I vanish forever from this world, would you play again?”

“Why would you go so far just to have me play again? Don’t you have any love for yourself!?” Sayo shouted.

Hina, of all people, had no right to engage in such self-destruction. She might’ve said Sayo was everything she had wanted to be, but the reverse was by far more accurate. Hina’s talent was something Sayo had desired since they were children. She never obtained it in the end. And yet Hina had so readily thrown it away back then, following Sayo in death as she exhausted her magic to thaw Sayo’s winter upon the end of the war. She shouldn’t have to. She could’ve destroyed Sayo’s soul to undo the curse. Hina was perfectly capable of this, but she chose death to preserve Sayo’s miserable afterlife. What for? A small part of Sayo might’ve hated the current Hina for having killed the Hina she used her life to protect. Though Sayo wouldn’t admit it, her first motivation for having wanted to become stronger – stronger than Hina – had been borne from love. She might’ve been jealous of Hina, but never once had she wanted Hina to die, much less because of Sayo herself. She had been a failure. Death had been the only way for her to accomplish something. But Hina had so many options – why? Why had she chosen the worst one?

Sayo hated it. She would never forgive Hina if she were to once again destroy herself.

“Oneechan, you suck…”

“What?”

“You are so selfish. You ask me if I have any love for myself. What about _you_? And do you know even if you hate yourself, there are others who love you?”

Sayo struggled. Was there really anyone who would love her?

“Nyaa…” the cat purred on Sayo’s knee. Its golden eyes stared unblinkingly at her. The cat had known Sayo’s song. It had come to her on purpose. But what did it really seek? Why was it so particular that it had to be Sayo, and not Hina? Did Sayo really have some “worth” that would make her loveable?

“Oneechan…I promise not to hurt myself, only if you would stop hurting yourself anymore.”

Sayo turned to face Hina again. “That is not fair.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been fair, have I?” Hina gave a slight smile. She conjured her koto from the air with her magic – the one used to thaw Sayo’s winter – and set it on the table. “Just once, just once, please play your song again. If you decide it’s not what you want to do in the future, that’s fine. I…I just think maybe there is something you have forgotten about your sound…and it would be so sad if that ends up being the thing that you need to…umm…feel better. So pretty please? I won’t bother you again about it, I promise. Just once?”

Sayo brushed her fingers across the strings. She struggled, but in the end, she took the koto into her hands.

“I will think about it.”

_**(To Be Continued)** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait. I tried rewriting the scene between Sayo and Hina to explore their past in a little more detail. I'm still not completely satisfied with it I suppose (too much telling compared to showing, ugh...), but I don't really want to spend more time on it. I apologize. Despite the chapter length being similar to the last, not much happens? It's sort of wordy. Hopefully the final chapter would be a little better. I promise more Yukina moments at any rate!
> 
> On another note, I wrote about potatoes to mirror the Bandori canon, but potatoes weren't really popular in East Asia until the 1700s? I haven't really thought about when this story is set actually (if it's set in Japan at all?) If there is something historically contradictory, please just consider this as a completely imaginary fantasy setting.


	3. Chapter 3

_“You know why music can amplify our magic, Yukina? It is because music connects to our soul. Our songs tell a story of our lives – they celebrate our very existence in this world.”_

Five hundred years ago, the shugo of their homeland had sought the cat demons’ powers to cure his mother’s illness. Minato Ryuunosuke was sent on behalf of his clowder to treat the old lady, but his healing song was unable to resuscitate her, and in his anger the shugo exiled the cat demons from his domain. It was said that Minato departed from his clowder in disgrace.

Since then, Yukina had been journeying the lands in search of her father.

She would not believe her father was ruined by the ignorant opinions of a mere human. Humans were disgusting creatures who knew only greed. They had no compassion, no appreciation. Music was wasted on their ears. There must be some other reason that prompted Yukina’s father’s departure. He had always aimed for the greatest heights. He desired perfection in his sound, not just to satisfy his own pride, but to deliver this perfection to his audience. That must be why he had left – to learn all he could from the world to refine his skill. Yukina knew she would cross paths with her father if she pursued the same. Where the best music was played, they would meet each other again.

Her journey had taken her to a small fishing village in the nation’s northeast, its name she had already forgotten, for she had visited so many the experiences all blended into each other. The village was unremarkable. Like others, it was situated near a military fort. The fort and the village were codependent, the troops stationed needed the village’s produce and goods for sustenance, while the village depended on the patronage for income. But such relationship led to tensions at the time of Yukina’s arrival. The fort was situated on high ground, overlooking the village downhill in the river valley. It guarded an important route through the domain, thus was made a target of attack in the ongoing battles, towing along innocent villagers into harm’s way.

The time was spring. Yes, there was spring back then, instead of just scalding summers and bitter winters. Spring was a time of mild weather, when the cold had waned but lingered as a refreshing coolness in the breeze. It wasn’t quite as dry either. Showers would bless the fields once every couple of days, though not in such excess to flood them. It was the time to sow - a season of beginnings.

But even then, there was something lacking in the air. Cat demons were creatures of the nature. Yukina understood it, felt its imbalance as a consequence of the self-serving actions of humans. They have tainted the earth with bloodshed, angered the gods by using their gifts as tools of war. For every sacred tree the humans burned, a flower would no longer bloom. Such was what the land had become, a place that smelled of copper and ashes, muddied with the impure, burdened with death.

Yukina stood atop an outcrop. She sought the height to find some solace above the world’s darkness. A stream flowed below, remnants of what used to be a river turned so dry the water barely covered its rocky bank. Downstream was a lily grove. The bulbs hung lifelessly over drooping leaves, off-white and crimpling, beaten by the sun.

A human had come to the lily grove. She held a hand to one of the dying bulbs, lifting it in her palm. From that distance even Yukina could not see her expression. What was the human thinking? Lament? They had no right to such, seeing as they were the cause of this catastrophe. The human sat down by the lilies and set her instrument between two flat boulders. A koto, Yukina recognized. She scoffed. The sound of humans was no music, just worthless noise made in a vain attempt to imitate the divine. True music cannot be made without sacrifice. One must burn their life and body in exchange for skill, endure the pain and frustration and force oneself forward despite failures. And even when skill is attained, music could only have meaning if you bared your soul with it. Humans were too proud to admit their sins thus their songs could only be false tales, hollow and empty.

The human started plucking on the koto, its sound had a clean ring. She might still be green, for her technique was unsophisticated. But whatever she had learned she played precisely, showing off days and days of repetitive practice. The sound was methodical, lacking in artistry, yet it held a pure, genuine quality, uncorrupted by needless flamboyance. It stayed true to her character, one Yukina had yet to witness from a human. Honest. Modest. She played knowing her inadequacies, compensating her lack of talent with devotion. Life flowed from her veins into her sound. Humans were not magical creatures. Such act would cost their lifespan. Yukina could not condone such self-harm, yet she could not help but respect the self-sacrificing aspect of the human’s motivations. She might be trying to hurt herself out of self-loathe, but there was no denial she was also trying to use her meagre life to accomplish something for others. Her life force seeped into the lilies and their form changed. The stems stiffened. The petals lost their creases, the yellowing edges disappeared, becoming white again.

This was the music Yukina had sought, found in the most unsuspecting of places, in the most unsuspecting of individuals. Though still just a bud of what she wanted, she knew it could be nourished into the most beautiful flower. She joined the human’s efforts, her voice rang through the forest. The human was the moon, a mirror, needing light to shine. She would grant her that light, be the sun she needed. She used her voice to guide the human, leading the melody, giving it power. The koto fell into the rhythm Yukina established, supporting it, adding colour. Their magic intertwined and amplified till they burst the lilies’ buds, causing them to bloom. A flower destined to die from the gods’ curse had once again opened its petals. Only when humans recognized their failings to walk back the right path would nature again find its balance. If only all humans could be like this one, the nation would recover its peace.

The dreamlike hour passed without either’s notice, only interrupted by a rustle in the undergrowth. The human stopped playing, whirled around cautiously in an attempt to find the source. Without finding it, she packed up her instrument and left, though not without a lingering gaze towards where Yukina stood. Yukina was too far for her to see clearly, basked in the blinding sunset. “Until we meet again,” she said. Yukina nodded, accepting the promise.

That “again” would never come.

Upon the end of sowing, manpower was freed to continue the wars. Villagers were conscribed, marched to their deaths. But they were losing. By autumn, the enemy was at their doorstep, a fort away upstream on the river. Winter was not coming quickly enough. They would not be saved from massacre. Yukina wanted to find the human she had met. Her powers were not strong enough to save an entire village but she could at the very least secure a single life, perhaps the only one worth saving anyway. She turned into her cat form and ran through the streets to no avail. It wasn’t until the day the altar atop the village became occupied that Yukina would meet the human again.

The human wore the white of the lilies they had bloomed together, her turquoise hair tied loosely behind her. She sat alone, her koto her only company. This loneliness echoed in the sound she produced, painful, helpless, a final cry to the heavens for their protection in exchange for her life. That was right. The human would die here, Yukina realized, spending herself to bring winter. But for what? – Yukina wondered. To save a people beyond salvation? Or to just destroy herself instead of waiting to be destroyed? The human might once have held high ideals, but the impossibility of those ideals had plunged her to devastation. Yukina understood the feeling well, for she too was growing devastated after years of not finding her father – she continued clinging onto the faint hope only because it was all she knew that could keep her going. She thought she had finally found it in this human, yet their difference was too great. A mortal’s life was fragile. It expired in what seemed like the span of a single breath. Even the greatest of heroes fell to dust, scattered in the wind.

The least Yukina could do was to give voice to the human’s last passage. Their song brought the breeze to a gale, the earth cracked from the frozen groundwater. Snow fell, whirled to a blizzard. Loud noises sounded as the river turned instantly to ice. This was what the cowards wanted. They chose to sacrifice their fellow villager to save themselves, yet when it finally happened they fled in fear. The human’s corpse lay cold upon the altar, collapsed over the koto.

They were the only ones here, high above all else in the storm. There was a paradoxical peace found on the human’s expression despite her violent death. Her eyes hung open, blood dripped from her lips, but those very lips were curled in a light smile that had yet faded. Had she heard Yukina’s voice before the end? Yukina hoped so. The human had deserved as much – someone to recognize her, to stay by her side.

She placed her hand atop the human’s eyes and drew them close. With her passing Yukina would again wander. Maybe someday, somewhere, they would find each other once more. If fate would deem it so, no matter the circles of reincarnation, their paths would intersect, and they would stand together at last.

“Until we meet again.”

For five hundred years, Yukina had travelled. Every place in this nation and far beyond it she had visited. She heard many sounds with their own merits, passionately thumping beats and rolling flute tunes with undertows of sorrow. She had heard from other spirits, the gods of faraway places, immortalized souls of ancient trees. But whether it be sentiment, Yukina could not forget the sound of the human who brought winter. Tired from her fruitless voyage she reconciled with the fact that she wouldn’t find what she desired. She would never find her father, who she had once decided must be seeking the same music as she, but he might really be long gone, cast his melody behind. She would also never find another who could support her voice. The human she loved was dead. Even if she had reincarnated as human again, they might never see each other.

Still, in the human’s memory, Yukina returned to the village where they had met. It had been renamed Hikawa after the human and her twin for their sacrifices. A new legend circulated amongst the villagers. “Run when you hear the songs of a koto on a blizzard night. The winter spirit is after your life.” The winter spirit was said to be housed at a shrine atop the village, the site of the altar where the human had expired those centuries ago.

The chances were slim, but Yukina was willing to grasp it – the human had been deified as a heroic spirit. She hurried up the mountain in the dead of winter, almost as cold as the one they had brought back then. She must see for herself whether the human had come back. Even though the human’s face was already blurry so far back in Yukina’s memories, she knew…she knew their music would let them recognize each other again.

But in her hurry a step landed empty. The slip had broken her ankle, pummeled her backwards into the river. Yukina could not swim, and even immortals could die from injury. She did not want to die here. Not when she could be so close to finding the one she desired once more. She flung her arm forward in hopes of grasping something, anything, but there was nothing above her save the moon itself, shining with its reflected light from the sun. Just like her. Just like the human on that fateful day. She was the moon, Yukina’s mirror, the only thing that could hold her.

Maybe this was a fitting end.

Yukina collided not with water, but ice. The river had frozen at the moment of contact to keep her from sinking into its depths. A protective spell? It was not a comfortable place to stay immobilized, but Yukina was alive. And she had gotten her confirmation. There was no doubt about it. The human was the winter spirit. She recognized the magic, recognized the hidden kindness beneath it. It would only be time. Yukina could wait. She had waited five hundred years after all, what was another day or two? She turned to cat form to conserve her energy. Her injury was still painful, so much so that she was about to pass out. As her consciousness began fading, she found comfort in knowing that soon…soon Hikawa would be here.

……………

It was the night of the Hikawa Festival. Sayo sat on the veranda of her shrine, listening to the distant sounds of celebration that rang through the valley. Hina’s song joined them. Though only magical creatures could hear its sound clearly, even the villagers could feel its effect in the warming wind.

“You hear that? You feel that? That is Hina’s talent. Her sound brightens the world. This is what everybody wants,” Sayo said, stroking the top of her cat’s head and down the back of its neck. It craned out of Sayo’s grasp and pattered over to where Hina’s koto was placed, meowing at it. Sayo looked over in exasperation, but the cat was not considerate of Sayo’s reservations. It tapped a front paw on the wooden frame of the instrument.

“Aren’t you insistent?”

“Nyaa…”

“That was not a compliment.” Sayo bopped the cat’s nose lightly with her finger. It ducked a second bop, rounding to Sayo’s back where she couldn’t reach it.

Sayo reluctantly took a seat in front of the koto. A sound she had forgotten, one that would bring her happiness, huh? She could just remember the one time by the river next to the lily grove, her song interwoven with a beautiful voice. It had been ecstasy. Time and space seemed to have disappeared, leaving only the two of them and their shared melody. If only it could go on forever. Now she knew, Hina had been the one to interrupt them. It was always Hina. Hina who stole everything from her. How ironic Hina wanted to bring Sayo’s happiness back now. It was impossible. The person who had sung with Sayo was probably long dead, and Sayo’s sound had turned bitter from how it had been used to bring her own painful end. Sayo brushed her fingers across the strings Hina had once played. But what use was there to cling onto her hatred for Hina? It had already been five hundred years, and even to an immortal, that was a long time. Perhaps it really was time to let go. The question was how?

Hina and Sayo’s cat thought that Sayo would find an answer in playing the koto. It was ludicrous, but she might as well do it once just to prove the point.

She plucked the first note. The sound stung. She was reminded of the last time she played, right here in this place, but before the shrine had been erected. The empty altar where she had sat alone, her breaths filled with the scent of death that came with the end of summer. With each phrase that she had played, she had robbed the air of more warmth, stole the last liveliness around her. The bringer of winter was none other than a reaper, and the first soul she had reaped was her own. Where was the joy in all this?

Sayo’s magic energy ebbed out of her with her reluctant song, floating aimlessly throughout her shrine. But it was then that Sayo heard a voice. Smooth yet powerful, cold yet shining. The sound was like that of the sun, but not the same sun Hina embodied. Rather, a sun that would shine in the night, in Sayo’s night. Sayo had always stood in the darkness, in Hina’s shadow. But this light touched her like no other. With it by her side, even Sayo could shine like the moon in the skies.

She had heard this voice twice, the first time at the lily grove, the second time… She finally remembered it. It had been moments from her death. Her body had been screaming in pain, her lungs filled with blood, leaving her choking. Flesh had peeled from her fingers over the koto’s strings. At that point she had cursed the world. Almost wanted her own efforts to be futile just so all the other villagers could suffer like herself. But the voice had sounded. She hadn’t known from where, but it hadn’t really matter. The melody had eased her pain, washed away her anger, for it had told her she had not been alone. The singer had recognized her. Even if it had just been one person in this world, they had understood Sayo. They had given meaning to her sacrifice.

And so she had passed peacefully. Cleansed of sin, her soul had become divine. That was how she had been reborn as a heroic spirit. Maybe it had also been the power of her will – the will to meet her “sun” again.

Sayo stopped playing, turned sharply around to try and find the owner of the voice. This time she found it. In the center of where her magic energy had been redirected, standing in her cat’s place, was a woman of the same silver hair and golden eyes, clothed in the white haori she had used to cradle the cat to her home weeks earlier.

“It was you all along?”

The woman strode over, her foot carried a residual limp from the still healing injury. She lowered herself by Sayo’s side and plucked the next note on the koto.

“It is rude to stop a performance so abruptly. Let us continue,” she said.

Sayo nodded dumbly, carrying on. It was as though she returned back to the past. She was not an aged god, but just a human youth, desperate for others’ love. And she had finally found it in this stranger. It gave her confidence. It reassured her that her sound was not inferior – that it was worthy of appreciation just as much as Hina’s. Their song soared. Winter did not have to be a time of death, but rather a time of renewal. Without winter there would be no summer. Seasons cycled, bringing balance to the land. The song of winter filled what was missing in Hina’s song of summer. Their melody was crisp and clean, Hina’s feather-light and bright. They gave a fresh breeze to Hina’s sweltering heat. It gave life to barren trees, filling their branches with buds that bloomed to thousands of sweet pink petals. The villagers looked up in awe. Hina’s wide eyes stared the work before her. This was what she had been waiting for – her sister to rediscover her true self.

Their songs ended in a rain of cherry petals. Sayo stood in its midst, staring at the only one to understand her in half a millennium. There was so much she wanted to say, but no words came. It was okay though. The woman showed no hint of incomprehension. She stepped forward and acknowledged Sayo with a nod.

“An overdue self-introduction. The name is Minato Yukina,” she said.

“Hikawa Sayo,” Sayo bowed. “I will be in your care.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have finally finished this story. Sorry for taking so long. I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter. There are certain elements I like about it, but at the same time the ending seems a bit sloppy and convenient? I've considered expanding on what YukiSayo's life would be like from hereon forward, but I ended up leaving it more open-ended. I might write some shorts following up on this AU in the future. I quite like the cat Yukinya idea and want to explore her being a reluctant cuddling toy to Sayo-san the Winter Goddess, haha.


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